Originally posted on my Facebook account in the Notes section..
So THIS is Facebook?… This? Seriously? This is what I’ve been missing out on for the past 2 years? this is friggin lame. no wonder Facebook kept a country club exclusivity for so long – they didn’t want the rest of the world to know how useless they were. I should have suspected sooner that my dopey friends were suffering from an Emperors New Clothes Syndrome when they couldn’t explain what was so great about Facebook except that “it just is”. For a brief time I considered the possibility that it was on the level of myself and similarly to the “why is Richard so awesome?” question, they just didn’t have the vocabulary to express it appropriatly.
cha. no.
It seems that almost every feature that makes this site unique is recently added. and sucks. You can’t even turn off email notices from this crap and when you try, the FAQ answers by saying “its tough being popular. unfortunately there is no way to turn this obnoxious and unnecessary feature off”. Gee thanks. Assholes.
This “news feed” garbage? Who the hell wants that? Telling everyone who you’re in a relationship with and broadcasting the exact moment you break up? Eff that. How the hell am I supposed to hit on cute college bitches in Wyoming when they can just click over to my ball and chain and get discouraged since they’ll never be that hot? And what the hell am I writing this in anyway? “notes”? how about “NOTS” *audience applause*
But seriously. Why am I so kick ass? Never mind. Facebook users aren’t smart enough to answer that. Most college students aren’t. Which is why I didn’t go to college. It makes you stupid. Unless you’re going into a natural or social science, college is a total scam. 1 to three years at a community college or straight to a trade school to get the learning and papers for a specific job and you’re fine. This might piss you off, so to weed out the losers and the genuine college attendees, let me illustrate my point…
At the end of my first paragraph I spelled “appropriately” wrong. If you caught it and thought you were hot shit because of it and were about to send me a message letting me know what an uneducated boob I am – congratulations – college has made you stupid. ONLY a college student is intellectually shallow enough to see a missing “e” in a typed Facebook note and declare it as sufficient evidence against someone’s education. So depraved are they that they are completely oblivious to the fact that even egregious errors in grammar have never been a societal standard of worth or intellect. Not when our House & Senate consisted mostly of farmers and merchants, not when Mark Twain was writing culture changing satire, and not when a Texas governor was elected to a second presidential term with the highest number of votes in American History.
So its an interesting conclusion that Facebook is an unnecessary time waster that won’t improve your life long-term, since its target demographic is a group that wasted their time with something unnecessary that won’t improve their life in the long term.
Delicious.